It’s 7:30 on a Friday night and I’m cleaning.
Does this bother me? Not in the slightest.
I have virtually no interest in going out. My parents had to beg me to go out to dinner with them. This might not seem like a big deal, but I love food. I over eat all the time and I do so even more when there’s refills and unlimited bread or fries, but i didn’t even want it today. Or more so, at all this week.
I thought that ending a fling was going to clear everything up and make my life a hell of a lot less stressful but all it’s done is clutter my mind with the dreadful and dangerous ‘what ifs’. I feel like my flooding emotions have been projected into my schoolwork and room. Now I’m struggling to find my floor and spending way too long attempting to dis-cipher my notes. When I broke things off, I was bummed out. However, I really truly thought they were for the best and I would stop thinking about it soon enough. But now, the phrases that were exchanged keep cycling through my mind and all I wonder is where things would have gone if my parents hadn’t stopped it. It’s been a while since things have felt right, and now I have no way of getting that back.
I know this is a petty problem compared to what the majority of society is facing, but I feel like it’s another cinder block on my shoulders of the really shitty last year and a half.

Time to dump half the crap in my room, and my life, and prepare for a fresh start. Maybe that’ll give me the desire to actually talk to people.